I forgot how good it feels to throw up my food..
My cousin told me that I’ve gained weight and that I need to work out. I wonder if he knows that I know that already. I wonder if he knows how insecure I am of my body. I wonder if he knows the things I’ve done in order to lose weight.
It’s time to get back to my regular schedule of not eating, or at lease eating way less than I do now. It’s time to start eating at 4 o’clock in the afternoon and stopping at 7 o’clock at night. It’s time to start eating just fruits or crackers for the day.
It’s terrible of how much weight I’ve gained. A month and a half or two months ago, I was 120 pounds. Now I’m 130 pounds… What the fuck happened to me? I’m gross. I’m fucking disgusting.
How am I suppose to get to my goal of being 108 pounds when I keep eating all the time? I’m so retarded. Just because I’m feeling a bit better with life doesn’t give me the right to eat. The hell is wrong with me? I need to control myself again. I need to stop eating.